Female expectations

It's nearly impossible to look in the mirror nowadays and not find something that brings our self- esteem down. I sometimes read magazines or online articles about a model/ celebrity that “found herself” and “no longer care what people think” because “ i love my body”- and I call bullshit. 

If that were the case, why are you filtering? Why are you talking about it? Why are you making us think about it? Why do i read this bullshit?

Because at the end of the day, we are women. We are competitive. It’s in our nature. When you see everyone around you start looking beautifully enhanced and fit in to the beauty mold, it’s hard not to fall in to the temptation. It’s hard to see your unfiltered face when everyone else is filtered.

How can we not bring ourselves down when there’s pictures and videos of barely-dressed women all over the internet. We turn our phones on, and there's another Instagram model flaunting her cellulite-free ass on our screens. We turn our TVs on and there's another so-called secret to losing 10lbs. We check our spam folders, and we have porn advertisers asking you to have a “good time”. 

Sexuality has become so normal that it’s lost it's beautiful meaning. The meaning that sex is a sacred act between two consenting people that are in love.  That our inner selves are being connecting to another soul. 

The only thoughts girls now have during the act is “

I wonder if i look hot from this angle? Can he see my dimples from this side? Should I turn the lights off?”

The most frustrating part of the situation is that we women did and continue to do this to ourselves. We allowed to be judged physically and be viewed as trophies.

I find it comical when men say that they prefer “natural beauty”. Half the time they don't know what is natural and what is fake. Technology has now made it nearly impossible to tell the difference. They claim to love this “inner beauty” but how many big breasted women and voluptuous models do they follow on social media? Men are visual creatures so when its out there, its only normal to look. Yet- its hypocritical to allow women to think they really feel that way when the truth is on their feed. 

I’ve recently been over-evaluating the expectations that society has on women. We are expected to grow up with the mentality that we need to take care of your man or your a failure. That your house needs to be spotless with a home-cooked meal and laundry stored away or you're a slob. We must maintain a full time job to help with bills and yet get our ten thousand steps in and maintain a good figure.

I, for one, like to me mentally stimulated. I like to read my news articles. I like to watch my documentaries. I struggle with the social norms and wanting to be myself. 

In the age where our friends are buying the new influencer makeup palettes, I long for a conversation that doesn't involve us comparing celebrity styles, where we don't have to get wasted to enjoy each other's company. I feel like I have to dumb myself down to fit into a norm that unknowingly, I helped create. I admittedly also read on the celebrity articles and new beauty hacks. 

Because of my recent struggle with acceptance of female expectations, I deleted celebrity news outlets and unfollowed anybody that made me feel that I needed to be or look a certain way. I need to remove those things from my life or I’ll always feel like i’m failing.