doggies

So i've noticed for a while now how people love and care for their puppies like if they were kids. i tried having one recently and it would be selfish of me to keep it. I just dont have the time to care for it. I'm never at home. the closest thing i had was Sasha and she was amazing, i recently tried finding her and I didnt have any luck. watching a show about having to put their dog down brought up the reason that i dont want one. i know that theyre not going to last. they have to die and i just dont want to be a part of that or have those feelings. i tend to further myself from people that i know are going to leave. i tried to stay away when both my grandfathers got sick. it might have seemed that i didnt care, but that wasnt the case. i dont want to feel that pain. ultimately, it doesnt matter what others feel about your actions or feelings. its your life and your feelings. distancing myself is a way that i cope (i.e. Chihuahua) focusing your life on something else is what i believe a healthy way of dealing by not dealing. if that makes any sense.... if it doesnt- it does to me.